We're Our Own Worst Enemy.

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There are times I can't help but feel a little overwhelmed at human nature. I think over this past week it's reached ultimate levels of disgust that I felt compelled to vent into a blog post.


On Friday I was bombarded with news stories featuring videos from Black Friday showing adults trampling over each other, clawing their victims to the floor  as they savagely tear their way to the top of the food chain; and all for a television that may or may not have a couple of quid knocked off.

Disgusted was an understatement to how this made me feel. I mean, I could of perhaps comprehended these scenes back in 1912 as they scrambled their way to the top of a sinking Titanic. But in Asda? Really?

Yet I began to wonder why I was even surprised. Collectively, it appears that we all like to join forces and claw down those closest to winning the prize. Twitter has demonstrated this over and over again; whether it's the new lucky lady rumoured to be Harry Styles's girlfriend (who will then be inundated with death threats) or perhaps a Blogger with a new book launch (you all know who). And it makes me even sadder to realise, that in respect to Twitter, the predator is more often than not; women. 

At a time when Feminism is back at the forefront, as Emma Watson steps onto the podium for the UN and gives us an empowering speech that brings us all to mush, and we witness the start of a serious change in the role of women. A time when women are demanding to be seen as equal, strong and independent and a force to be reckoned with. A time where we invite men to support the campaign and move forward in a united sense of partnership.


Yet I can't help but feel that perhaps the real opposition to women is, well, women. We are our own worst enemy. And I'm not talking about the 'learn to love yourself' malarky, I'm talking about other women feeling the need to attack another woman out of jealousy, envy and bitterness.

It's no secret that most women don't actually dress for the appreciation of men, the only gender we want to impress are the ones who know how much effort has gone into finding a top to match our patterned white trousers. We want to be accepted, praised and recognised by other women and that is perhaps what has opened the door to this viscous circle of bitchiness that is now just completely accepted within society.

The fact that now, to make snide comments, put down, abuse and laugh about another women is actually referred to as a 'feminine' trait, is entirely sad. Yeh we can multi-task, show compassion, empathise and endure the pain of childbirth. But above all that, we know how to completely and utterly destroy another women because of the size of her arse or that unfortunate nose. If a man does that, he's a complete dick. If I do that, it's fine because I have a vagina, therefore it's a socially effective bonding mechanism to share with other friends who also have a vagina. So while Emma Watson was taking the stand to preach our empowerment, we were on Twitter looking for our next victim for collective criticism.

Recently, as we all probably know, beauty blogger Zoe (@ZozeeBo) has erupted onto billboards, TV adds and even landed herself a book deal. She now stands in jam-packed Waterstone stores signing books for crazed fans, while a united amount of women have turned their voices (or rather hands) to Twitter to vent their frustration.

Now I've seen an overwhelming amount of hate and stupidity from uneducated internet trolls which I won't even acknowledge, but I've also seen quite a lot of others expressing a deep sense of frustration and the view of 'what right does she have?'

She's never been a struggling writer, who has endured a million book deal rejections, made her sorry way to every publishing house in the country with a masterpiece that she has poured her heart and soul into, only to have the doors slammed in her face without so much as a glance.

No, she is a Blogger who reached fame and can now do whatever the fuck she wants. She can release a series of books, a fashion line, direct a film and hey maybe even record an album, while the people of the world still struggle and slave away in the hope of achieving anything perceptibly close to their life long dream.

I completely relate to people feeling a little deflated at the thought of someone having it all while you wait on tables, pour endless cup of coffees with all the hope and passion that maybe one day you will find a salary that matches the work and hours you put into life.

But why does that mean we have to put down another persons success? I don't follow Zoe and I'm not a beauty obsessive but I can appreciate the fact that she has worked tirelessly to build a blog, brand and reputation that millions of people have responded to. She has now pushed herself and branched out into the world of book publishing and although I doubt it will sit next to the works of Dickens' and Wilde, it has demonstrated that she is a powerhouse of a woman, who had a dream and worked hard to achieve it.

The other day Kendall Jenner received an open letter from another model, which has now gone viral, expressing her hate and disgust that the Kardashian was handed her modelling career on a plate while she still struggled to make rent. Now, I'm not the biggest Kardashian fan but are we really going to attack a women because she is successful without struggle? To suggest that despite the flawless ad campaigns and catwalk shows, she has no right to be a model and perhaps that privilege should be taken away from her?

If your skinny do you have no right to be a chef? It all comes down to the fact that for some bizarre reason we just love to hate those with success. I've seen countless bloggers setting up separate twitter accounts in order to keep their blog posts away from their friends for fear of critique. Are we actually living in a world where people can't even trust their friends not to critique or bitch about their work or success, behind their back?

A woman can be a pioneer in science, cure cancer or save a drowning child, but god forbid her hair is frizzy or she's wearing an unflattering dress for us all to sink our claws into. If we begin to hold back for fear of being bitched about then what are we ever going to accomplish? And I always preach that we shouldn't care what other people think, which is an incredibly tricky thing to do, but really I think the problem is with women dishing out this abuse in a shallow, materialistic and unkind way that is depicting our gender.

I can only politely advise the critiquers that if perhaps they spent a little less time pointing out all the reasons why Zoe shouldn't of had a book deal, and a little more time into pursuing their own lives they might one day achieve glorious things.

Whether you're male or female, stop taking the success of others as fuel for your insecurities. Admire them, praise them and let it inspire not swallow you.

Don't think Zoe deserved to have that book published? Then go write a better book. 

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12 comments

  1. Beautifully stated!!! I 100% agree.

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    1. Thank you! And thanks for taking the time to read xx

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  2. Well said Lauren. Sadly this is the type of world we live in. X

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    1. Sad but true Janet, hopefully there's still room for change. Thanks for reading xx

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  3. This hit me hard. I've been following Zoe since she had less than a million followers, and I've seen her work hard to be where she is now. Regardless of wether we are handed an opportunity or spend years working tirelessly for it, we should never be put down. It's terrible, the way we treat each other. Thank you so much for writing this. I'm going to share it on my blog(only a small following, but this is a message that needs to spread to anyone and everyone). I love how you've ended it. This was one of the best blog posts I have ever read.
    Ariana xx
    (thoughtsthroughateacup)

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    1. Thank you for such a positive response Ariana, so lovely to read! And I would love you to share it to your readers, hopefully we can open some more eyes to a bit more positivity! xxx

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  4. This post is absolutely amazing & insightful! I really hope this changes in the future and it all starts by recognizing it in ourselves and making sure that we are encouraging to other women.

    Coley
    coleysopinion.com

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  5. Yes yes yes yes. 100% agree with all said here. I know I'm guilty of acting out in such ways and it disgusts me. I do try hard not to do it anymore. Women should be supporting each other instead of putting each other down.

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  6. I sat reading this nodding, is what you have written a British affliction? We can't support or encourage others who are doing well. Most of the people reading this wrote and blog, is it easy? No way I give up lots to do it, it takes time to take pictures and write good content. Zoe has been doing this since 14 can't we celebrate her doing well rather than wanting to bring her down but as you say if you think you can do better go ahead Lucy

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  7. Your point of view is unique and a very good article.

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